Have you been able to find the wonder in the season so far this month?  Or, perhaps the pressure of perfection around this time of year feels like it’s getting the best of you.  I know for our team, we’ve been trying our best, but there have been moments when we’re working so hard on making something just the way we want it that it the perfection overtakes the wonder and joy. Between planning our last event of the year and preparing for new 2020 endeavors, there’s been a lot to do, a lot of details to keep straight, and a lot that we want to get just right.

But because of that we’ve put extra effort into reminding each other to do things like not work over the weekends (especially the long Thanksgiving holiday!) and pointing out when each other has started overthinking something.  For us, it’s been a way to stay grounded and to remember the big picture.

The thing is, while most of us do have a long list of important tasks and while we should put time and effort into making our work the best it can be, usually things don’t need to be quite as perfect as we get caught up in thinking.

It is easy to do, since that’s very much the world that we live in, but often it isn’t really the path to living life the best way that we can.

So how do we change this?  We’ve learned that the best way to become aware of our habits is to actively train our minds to refocus through a new lens.  Below, we’ve listed some of our favorite ways to try to retrain your mind this season.

  • Linger in the little moments: Often, our need for perfection comes from becoming so laser-focused on what we’re doing that we forget that, from a 30,000 foot view, that last hour or two nitpicking the details on a project sometimes doesn’t actually add value. Inevitably, one of the things that we most often sacrifice when we’re that laser-focused is our ability to recognize and sit in the little moments of life that – if we did – might turn out to be our most cherished memories.  Does your child want you to help build a Lego creation?  Maybe that trip to the store for just the right type of cheese for your Christmas party can wait.  Because five years down the road, no one will remember which cheese you had on that platter (and if they do, that’s their problem), but your child will remember those genuine moments spent together.
  •  Look at what you HAVE accomplished: This time of year, there’s a lot of focus on what we’ll do differently next year, usually leading us to feel like we failed in our goals for this one. We should always be seeking to better ourselves, but if we stopped and really thought about it, we’re probably all able to think of at least one way that we have grown this year.  Think about what helped you accomplish the progress and movement you made towards a goal this year – was it a new routine, encouragement from your family and friends, or just that you were passionate about what you were aiming for?  How can you apply that approach to your goals for next year?

Click to tweet: Think about what helped you accomplish the progress and movement you made towards a goal this year – how can you apply that approach to your goals for next year?

  • Shift your focus to others: It is so easy to unintentionally get caught up in the mindset that even the little problems that we face are difficult and weighty. And some of them are, but some of them just seem that way because of all the time we spend thinking about them.  For many of us, this is a dangerous habit, because it means that we become so focused on ourselves that we miss chances to help and genuinely connect with the people around us.  So find something that pulls you out of your own head and focuses you on other people once in a while – volunteer at the Boys’ and Girls’ Club or a soup kitchen, find an act of kindness that you can do for a different friend each week, spend time to stop and chat with your elderly neighbors or shovel their driveway.  When we focus on others, it’s remarkable how much it helps us appreciate the wonderful moments of life.

Do you have methods that you’ve used – either tried and true processes or new ideas this season – for helping yourself focus on what’s important and seeing the world through a lens of wonder instead of perfection?  We would love to hear them!  E-mail hello@davine.com or connect with us on Facebook and Instagram

With Optimism,

The Davine Team